Behind that Mask
by KaseZ
Summary: Kunsel is always wearing his Shinra headgear. When Zack disappeared, he made it his mission to accompany Aerith during this hard time. In the process, he found his feelings for her grew into an silent unrequited love. Meanwhile, Aerith meets a mysterious handsome man while selling flowers one day, not knowing that this stranger is none other than Kunsel. Kunsel POV AerithxZack
1. Chapter 1 - The Mask

**Chapter 1 - The Mask**

I will never forget that day. 49th Floor, Shinra headquarter. The elevator door slides open and I put on my Soldier headgear, letting the large steel element cover my features in preparation for a team meeting. This helmet is a vital part of the Soldier dress-code, aside from the sleeveless sweater and loose fitted pants. Shinra Soldiers were taught to always wear it as it serves multiple purpose, and most essential of all, it masks our identity. Every time I put on the headgear, I could still smell the dirt and blood splatters from past battles no matter how many times I wipe it down. It's gross, but it is Soldier protocol to have it equipped at all times, of course, there are certain rebels who refuse it, and Fair, is a prime example.

Zack was the only man in the hall at the time, so I naturally approach him upon entering the floor. He has his back against the cold wall, looking troubled, mind lost in daze. So I made an attempt to retrieve him back to the planet.

"I heard you are going on an assignment with Sephiroth", I said, interrupting his thoughts.

"Kunsel", He welcomed my presence with a grin. "Yeah, it's gonna be a long mission, we will be inspecting the Nibelheim reactor". He explained, while looking down on his black combat boots.

For reasons I could not figure out, Zack seems unbalanced today, something about him was odd, he is normally more upbeat, but I didn't think too much into it back then... "Well I am assigned to Fort Condor's reactor. I wonder what is up with them".

"Man, too bad we are not in the same team this time", He said, looking disappointed. "Guess this is goodbye huh?"

"Why the long face? Are you sad to see me go?" He couldn't tell with my Soldier headgear over my face, but I was giving him an odd look, I mean saying 'goodbye' doesn't sound like him at all... If only I knew back then, that he felt something would go wrong...

He just grinned, and punched my shoulder lightly, "I'm sad because of Aerith. You know... I'll be away from her for a while…" he muttered nervously.

Seeing Zack this way is certainly a rare sight, he's normally clueless about his surrounding, I mean we are talking about a guy who does squats in the middle of city center.

I chuckled, "oh right, I forgot our Zack Fair has grown up and is now in love".

He scratch the back of his head uncomfortably. "Whatever, screw you Kunsel", he tried to mask his embarrassment with a smile, but we both knew my words had hit the truth dead center. That moment I saw the face of a soldier in love. The soft expression he wears when he thinks about Aerith, the grin that appears on his lips when he reminiscence on a precious memory together, and the sadness in his eyes knowing he won't be by her side. This fighter understands his duty, but dies a little every time he leaves his love behind.

"Why don't you go see her now? You have sometime, I'll make up some excuses to Sephiroth". I suggested.

He's eyes widened like an excited puppy, only thing missing is a wagging tail. "Really?!"

I nodded, and watched him jump in joy. Then he thanked me and ran into the elevator. After that, I stalled Sephiroth for hours, I remember cursing that bastard Zack for taking his sweet time. Later I found out he spent majority of his time running around Midgar, looking for materials to make Aerith a flower wagon... And he did not made just one, but three. Even went out to sell some flowers with her. I always knew Aerith was not just another fling, what I didn't know was he'd turn into the romantic type of guy for her... I never knew he had it in him to love someone so much.

I was glad I told him to go find her... Because that was the last time Aerith has seen him...

...

I open my eyes, and the bright light shining through the hole in the roof invaded my vision immediately. Thankfully I have my trusty headgear on, or I probably wouldn't be able to keep my eyes open. The headgear protects my eyes from harm, all the way from the sun's UV rays to tear gas, however it is a bit heavy, unappealing, cast a blue hue on everything I see and hides eighty percent of my face. I guess that is the price we pay for protection.

I look up to the ceiling and see that angelic creature sitting on one of the wooden support beams, he seems to be observing me, as always. Zack said that thing is all that remains of Angeal and he has taken on a new role as Aerith's full time guardian.

I glance over to the flower bed, to find that she was still in the same position before I had fallen asleep. Watching her sea of flowers, back towards me. Her white camisole and blue skirt looks extra bright under the light, sometimes, I really think she is an angel.

I got up from the church bench to stretch, and let out a yawn, it must have been a loud one, because it caught her attention enough to glance at me.

"Had a good nap?" Aerith's voice echoed within the empty church. I really love her voice, it is soft, innocent and very feminine.

"The best", I replied smiling and made my way to her. "How long was I asleep?"

"Couple hours, you were snoring", she giggled.

I grinned, remembering the first day we met. The way she scrambled to get up and ran to my direction when I entered her church. Her eyes was swimming in tears and when she got a closer look, and realized I was not him, she frowned and dropped to the ground, sobbing. I didn't need to ask, she must of thought I was Zack, I guess not many people in Soldiers uniforms comes to her church. She has come a long way, when she find out I was not Zack, I saw fear in her eyes, as if she is in front of an monster. Ten months since that encounter, she has opened up tremendously, even let me nap on her church benches.

During these past months, she showed me her expressionless face the most, when I'm lucky I get to witness her smile, and all other times, she'd be crying. Her sob were soft and silent, as if she doesn't want anyone to know. Her tears always flowing, enough to water several small pots of lilies. Seeing her cries, I made an effort to visit as often as work allows so she is not alone dwelling in her own thoughts. I would tell her about Zack's silly stories, like the time he received a letter by a self-proclaimed treasure princess and later found she was an underage ninja tomboy, that one brought a huge grin to her face. Her smile is like the sun, and I became addicted to her light, so I've committed myself to making her smile my mission.

"I'll file a complain to Shinra on my helmet's design. Maybe they should make the thing cover my whole face, and then soundproof it" I suggested jokingly and sat down on the floor beside her, the old wood under my bottom creaks as I settled.

She looks at me, "I wouldn't want that". I watch her reach out to one of her flowers, and caress it as if it has a soul, like human would to their children.

"Because my smile is gorgeous right?" I joked again. I normally don't talk like this, I'm not a joker. I know Zack does though, he used to tell me how hard she laughs at them. I'm not Zack of course, but hey, whatever gets the job done.

She giggled again, shaking her head. "No... I really like talking to you. Too bad your smile is all I can see" she pointed her index finger to her cheek, I'm guessing she is referring to my massive steel helmet.

"You know, I'm actually very handsome", I can't say I was lying, I've been told I was, not just from my mother too, "I'm such a heartthrob, I'm afraid you will fall in love with me if I take it off. How am I gonna explain to Zack if that happens?" I said shamelessly. To be honest, I much rather wear a mask around her. The real me is... Well, I can be quite a jerk, kinda boring, and complicated at times. In another words, I get to be someone else like this, someone better, one that deserves to be her companion.

Aerith giggled slightly, then, her smile dropped, as if it was never there... Clear sign that she is thinking about him again.

There was a long silence. Then she gathered herself and spoke again, "Hey, why do you always wear that helmet? But I've never seen Zack in it?" She asked tilting her head curiously.

I shrugged, "Probably because Zack doesn't wanna mess up his hair. The director is always at his sleeve about this topic! Knowing him, he's probably too concern about impressing the girls, he's such a womaniz-" I coughed and stopped myself, realizing that is probably not something she want to hear, "keep in mind, this is before he met you Aerith".

Surprisingly she did not look one bit upset, instead, she laughed, beautifully. "I had a feeling that'd be the reason! He is so into his looks".

One moment she can be sad, and laughing the next. Who could blame her though? What she is going through is hard... And she is trying even harder to overcome it, even though she doesn't have any other solution than to toughen up and wait, and wait, and wait...

I watch her chuckle cheerfully, thinking a beautiful face like this only deserves to be happy. "It worked though", I said.

"Huh?"

"He told me you fell for his good looks", I clarified.

She shyly slapped my arm, embarrassed. I couldn't quite tell with the blue hue my headgear cast, but I think she may have blushed. How cute, Zack, buddy, I must say I'm a little envious of you.

"I fell for his eyes". She admitted and covered her cheeks with both hands.

How amusing, because everyone in Soldier has the same mako infused blue eyes, I guess since we are always covered behind our steel mask, not many people noticed. Still, I don't wanna burst her bubble by telling the truth.

Seeing her cast a shy expression really validates just how much she loves Zack. It's been fourteen months since we both had seen him. I miss him a lot, and I wonder where he is every now and then. Compare to Aerith though, my thoughts for him are unparalleled... she is constantly thinking about him. I don't think there is a single moment when he is not on her mind.

"Aerith. I'm sure he wants to come back much more than you and I can imagine. Until then, I'll report back any news I hear about him. You can count on me", I promised her.

Taking in my words, she paused for a moment and let's her vision get lost in her bed of flowers. "Thank you Kunsel. You are a good friend", she said softly.

**Xoxox**

**Author's notes:**

Yay, love triangle! Sooo… I wrote this because I suddenly saw a lot of potential in Kunsel's character. I want to make him a hot stud behind the headgear, and Aerith will not know who he is. I don't think I will write about Zack until later in the story, until then, flashbacks only.

Let me know what you think, should I continue? :)


	2. Chapter 2 - Perfect Girl

**Chapter 2 - Perfect Girl **

It was one of those missions where a law abiding citizen informed Shinra of suspicious activities within the city of Midgar. With reports of Avalanche scheming to take down the company, Heidegger, head of Public Safety had requested Soldiers to lead bands of infantries into anti-terrorist inspections. For this type of mission, involvement of Soldiers means they are taking precautions to a whole new level, which is not a bad idea, considering that Avalanche is said to be a group of highly skilled terrorist, the last thing Shinra wants is to bring a bunch of rookies into an eagle's nest without capable fighters among them.

As Soldier 1st and 2nd class, Zack and I were assigned as team leads, responsible for leading a team of 30 infantries. Overall, we are a good match, Zack has his strength and combat techniques, while I am strategic and tactical. We are the perfect soap and sponge partnership, complementing each other on areas we lack, and together we guide our underlings to success. When we are in a leadership role, there are barely the need to lift our swords, at least not in typical missions like this.

After the infantries were deployed, Zack and I took refuge on the dark stair case by the Sector Two train station. I removed my headgear, rest it on my lap and wiped off the sweat on my forehead. As always, the Midgar night air tasted smoggy, the air seems to get a little thicker every year.

The evening air breeze through my chestnut hair, letting them breathe after getting suffocated by my headgear. Looking over to Zack, his dark untamed spikes appears as if it is dancing with the wind. We score very different hairstyles. Mine are textured, disheveled and semi-short; while Zack's are thicker, shinier and slightly longer. Pair those black raven hair with his dark skin and chiseled jawline... I'll admit, sometimes I feel intimidated by his good looks. "Guess what?" I said, while brushing my short bangs back with my fingers.

"What?" Zack raised an eyebrow in respond.

"Guess who came home with me last night? That cute red head from the bar. She was freaky", I bragged with a smirk. He doesn't know it but I waited all day for a break so that I could tell him this.

Zack laughed and shook his head in disapproval, "grow up man".

I gave him a friendly push by his steel shoulder armor "who's telling me to grow up? Did you bring that brunette home? I saw the way she keeps dropping her purse so she could bend down and show you her goods". I chuckled after remembering the scenes vividly in my head, "That girl clearly likes you!"

"Didn't noticed". He answered with a straight a face.

"Yeah right", I laughed.

"It's true", he shrugged.

I brought my hand over his forehead, checking his temperature playfully. "You alright buddy? Who are you trying to fool?"

Zack slapped my hand away and laughed, "Okay, okay! You caught me, I noticed the brunette", his normally pale cheeks blushed in pink from the topic. "How could anyone not? Her skirt was the size of my belt", he confessed shamefully.

I laughed along with him, "So? Did you bring her home?"

A shook of his head, paired with an innocent smile was his reply, causing all excitement on my face to vanish abruptly.

"What… why?" I asked, as if he had casted a confusion spell on me.

He simply replied, "Because I didn't want to…"

"Why?" I asked again, and blinked a few times.

"I didn't like her… It's not right".

Confusion has reached its max capacity, that instant, I thought I needed a remedy. "What's not right?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow and head tilted to the side, as if trying to find balance within a universe that has been flipped upside down.

"I've decided I'm gonna lay low from that kind of lifestyle… I uh... I like this girl" He smiles and looks down shyly, like those helplessly in love teenage boys you see in movies.

The sight caused my mouth to drop open, "You? Mr. Fair likes a girl?"

Zack scratched the back of his head nervously, "I know... She's just so... Perfect".

I didn't say anything, I didn't need to though, because he just kept blabbering on.

"She's this girl that grows flowers in the slum's church... She has beautiful brown hair, pale skin, bright round emerald eyes. Kind hearted. She doesn't even need to try... And she's perfect".

I couldn't believe the words that is coming out of his mouth and my head was in too much of a state of disorientation to think of anything intelligent to say. The expression in his eyes though, is one I've never seen him wore before. As he describes this girl, the coldness in his eye turns warm and he looked truly happy.

"Sounds unreal. What's her name?" I asked.

"Aerith", he replied proudly. "And I'm gonna make her my girlfriend!" The soldier got on his feet and declared as if he had set a new found goal.

"Wow", I stood up as well and patted his shoulder, "More girls for me then. Good luck Zack".

"Thanks Kunsel, hey, one day you will find an amazing girl too. One that will make you second guess your current lifestyle… you know, be a better man", he said looking so genuine it made me uncomfortable.

I rolled my eyes to deflect his gaze, "Yeah right, why would I wanna settle for one when there are so many girls out there?"

He shrugged as if the answer was obvious, "because she is just that amazing".

"Well if Aerith is that amazing, maybe I will just steal her from you", I replied thoughtlessly.

He just laughed with his head threw back, "Over my dead body! No way will I let that happen without a fight!"

And our conversation ended there...

I thought it was amusing, since I taught Zack everything he knew about Shinra. How to take advantage of the training center platform, the juicy gossips involving the high level executives, and there he was, teaching me about women… I didn't think much into it until recently, but now that Zack is gone, I'm starting to feel lonely, and wonders how my life will change if I have a special lady in it.

Zack, buddy, how you have outgrew me. You ended up completing all the training sessions, found out the dirtiest of Shinra secrets, even got promoted to 1st class, while I'm stuck in 2nd…and you even found that perfect girl first.

* * *

I felt an arm wrapped around my waist, and momentary, her legs crisscrossed mine. I groan and woke up from my dream, annoyed. Checking my surroundings, I found myself in my bachelor apartment, in the comfort of my queen sized bed. I rubbed my eyes and turned to discover my companion for last night was a blonde, she has messy long curls and a tanned slim body.

By way she is practically spooning me from behind, my guess is she is cold, after all, she is completely naked, and in my arm's possession is my scrunched up comforter.

After pulling myself into a sitting position, I removed her embrace and shook her shoulder. "Get up", I demanded.

She rolled over onto her back and continues to sleep, ignoring me.

"Get up", shoot, what the heck is her name? "Samantha?"

No reply.

"Ashley?", I tried again. "Joyce?" I threw out a few more common female names before I shook her again.

The blonde bounced up, looking annoyed, "it's Amanda", she pulled her bangs from her face, revealing her smeared makeup. The sight brought a sour expression to my face.

Truth be told, I used to dig chicks with makeup, I mean, if they have a zit, why not try to cover it? If I can't see it, I pretend her face is flawless, simple men logic. Lately though, I'm beginning to find girls who embrace their own skin to be much more attractive. Seeing Amanda, I can't help but wonder why she is wearing so much makeup. She's what? In her early twenties? Are all those layers of makeup even necessary? Speaking of which, did she stamp her clown face on my white linens…? I brought my vision to my pillows,_ ahh shit_, red lipstick and sparkling brown residues stained my pillow like a gruesome crime scene. "Alright, you had your fun, get out", I demanded sternly.

"Are you serious?" she asked as if she thought I was joking. I don't joke, not to you at least.

She ran a finger around her under eye area, trying to rub off those mysterious black stains. I believe they are called eye liner, or shadow. She ran fingers after finger below her eye, but the stains are not budging.

Taking a closer look, her makeup from last night has settled within the deep lines underneath her eye and surrounding that area are permanently pigmented skin, evidence of sleep deprivation, and perhaps poor lifestyle choices. I swear, she looked ten times better than this last night, though the bar was incredibly dim...

What the heck have I done? I don't even know what she really looks like and I slept with her! What about the women I slept with the other nights? Are they all like this? What the hell is wrong with me?! "Out", I demanded again and sighed.

"Your kidding right? What the heck is wrong with you? You are so nice last night and now you are being a jerk!"

I got out of bed, completely naked too. I found a red tank top on the ground, it looks extra skimpy. I picked it up, tossed it over to the blonde, and simply told her the truth, "I was probably just trying to get in your pants", by the corner of my eyes, I found another piece of clothing hanging by my desk chair, and I grabbed it to find it is an extremely short black skirt, "correction. I was trying to get into your very easily accessible skirt". I said and toss it over to her. She couldn't catch it, of course not with her lazy arms, instead, the piece of fabric hit her face lightly, and she took it as if it had slapped her in the face, which aggravated her anger more.

"You're an asshole!" She screamed, shot out of bed and put on her clothes. "You better watch it Kunsel!" And within seconds, she was out of my bachelor apartment.

"Whatever", I muttered, snatched my mobile phone from my desk and made my way to the bathroom to check my reflection.

This is the part I hate most, seeing my shameless naked reflection. On the outside, I am a lean, muscular, young successful Soldier, an attractive one; that is what people see. What I see is a different story, I see a weak person, confused about life, and very ashamed of what he did last night, and the night before, and the night before the other night...

My short chestnut colored hair is a mess and my eyes...the areas surrounding my mako infused iris are pink. I guess I had more than a couple of beer last night.

It is common for Shinra Soldiers and infantries to frequent bars on a week night. Whether to celebrate a successful mission or to gather intel, for normal civilians, this type of lifestyle can be expensive and exhausting. But when mako runs through your veins, hangover is nonexistent and bars never lets you pay for your status with Shinra. It was fun at first, especially when Zack was there, he was always cracking jokes, playing wing man for everyone, making sure our glass is never empty. Now that he is gone, visiting bars has gotten a lot less fun...

I flipped open my PHS, and answered a few emails. Then I scrolled to the bottom of my contact list, where Zack Fair is listed, clicked on his name and started typing…

_'I just slept with a clown. I miss you buddy.'_

I read over my idiotic message and pressed send. How stupid is it to write Zack something like this. If he could reply, he would've done so many months ago when I used to send him messages every other day, asking him where he's gone. Better yet, he would've replied to Aerith's… so she didn't have to sit and watch her phone for hours, for a response that did not come no matter how long she waited. There was a time when she would forget to feed herself or water her flowers, and I witnessed she and her lilies withered, all because she didn't want to miss his calls. Reaching Zack seems impossible now, and I question myself why I still press that tiny green button with the receiver symbol, let's face it…Zack is probably dead, or he would definitely return to her…

With that thought, I popped into the shower and plans the rest of my day. This morning, I decided to pay Aerith a visit before reporting to work.

* * *

I decided to get her breakfast this morning, and as the smell of tuna fish sandwich escapes the paper take out bag, a few Hedgehog _Pie, known for stealing food from human_ had engaged battle with me. They are these weak creatures who roams the slum. They are majority red, with purple spikes on their backs and a boated body, Aerith are afraid of them, but Zack loves them. He said he fought off a bunch in front of her once, and I guess she was impressed by his combat skills- such a show off. Anyways, I kicked their spikey round butts obviously, like any low level slum monsters can take Aerith's sandwich from me. After two quick easy battles, I finally made it to her church and proceeded to walk up those stone stairs.

"Hold it right there". A monotone voice called after me.

I look to my right and a familiar man in a black suit appeared from the shadows. I quickly recognize the long haired man. "Hey Tseng". I waved.

Senior Turk, Tseng. He is everywhere Aerith's at most of the time. When she's inside the church, he would stand by the entrance, guarding the building like a guard dog. When she's out, he would follow her around in the shadow. Rest assure, Tseng is no crazy stalker; being a crazy stalker is just his job. I think he is uptight and plain creepy, though Zack's opinion of him totally differs from mine. According to Fair, Tseng is following Aerith around for a good reason, a reason I should not know or poke my nose into. I don't know, whatever the reason is, doesn't justify stalker behavior to me.

"What's in there?" Tseng stepped out of hiding, looking at the paper bag in my hand.

"This?", I lifted the bag, "food from the Wall Market Restaurant".

"For Aerith?"

"Yeah... She's gotten skinny, kinda worry she's not eating well", I replied honestly.

Tseng grabs the bag from my grip.

"The heck-?" my complaint was cut short when Tseng held out a finger, as if telling me to hush. I can't lie, this Turk is not only a creep, he's also a real asshole. He took the takeout container out and uncovers it, revealing the six feet sandwich that was cut evenly in half as I requested from the chef. He grabs one half of the sandwich and hands it to me.

"Eat it", the Turk demanded.

Beneath my headgear, I had an eyebrow rosed. "That's for Aerith! And now you got your dirty hands on it!" I spoke loudly, annoyed.

"I'm not touching the other half", Tseng said and brought the sandwich closer to my face, "eat this half so I know you didn't put anything funny in there".

"Are you serious? I'm a Shinra employee just like you", I stated. Tseng's intention for Aerith means well, Zack told me before. At the same time I can't help but feel a little pissed that this guy is trying to feed me the sandwich that I got and fought for Aerith. I'll admit though, though this Turk is intimidating, we do share a common goal; we both want what's best for Aerith.

"With Shinra, or not. Someone is counting on me to protect the subject".

I growled, "For what?! From what?!"

"That is classified information", Tseng replied in his monotone voice and looked straight into my eyes, as if my steel helmet was no barrier at all, I gulped seeing his glare.

"Fine!". I grabbed the sandwich unwillingly and took a huge bite, "hap...pee?", I asked while chewing.

"Swallow."

Damn you Tseng. I swallowed the contents in my mouth and opened wide to show the Turk. I even took another bite off the sandwich, "happy?!".

Tseng nodded and gave me back the takeout box containing the other half of the lunch I got for Aerith. And so in a not so happy mood I entered the church, knowing for sure he was eyeing my back.

Like always, I find her by her flower bed tending to her little babies. She looks up and calls my name, "Kunsel".

A smile immediately formed on my lips, surprisingly, the unpleasant encounter with Tseng I had a moment ago quickly diminished to nothing. I hid the bag behind my back. "Hey Aerith, guess what I got?"

She stood up and dusted her blue and white skirt. "What do you mean guess what you got?..." she paused and suddenly colors faded from her face as if my vision turned grayscale. Then she ran towards me, even stumbled midway but quickly recovered. As soon as I was within her arm's reach, she grab a hold of the suspenders on my uniform, "do you-! Are there news about Zack?" She asked with her widened emerald eyes piercing into mine.

I was held back by her reaction, "ah, actually", I raised the container in my hand, revealing it to her, "I got you a sandwich... Well half..." I replied quietly.

"Oh..." She dropped her hand, "sorry...I...mean... Thank you"

I shrugged, "Sorry, no news…again", I muttered.

Aerith shook her head and forced a small smile, "No, it's ok. I'll keep waiting".

Her voice, her words, her expression, together they triggered a question within me, one that I dare not ask. _How long do you plan to wait?_ I shrugged and foolishly continued,"I won't enter your church with a 'guess what?' anymore", I said. "don't want to get your _hopes up_…"

She immediately shook her head, frowning.

Her upset expression sparked something within me, that moment I realized I've touched upon a sensitive topic, one that has been sitting silently in the back of my head. "I mean… I'm not saying don't have hope! I don't mean that… I'm sorry", I wanted to recover what I said earlier, but it was too late, tears had begun to collect in her eyes._ I admitted to Aerith that I've given up on Zack_… Today, started fucking horribly.

Aerith rubs her eyes with the back of her dainty hands, her fingers still has traces of soil on them from tending to those flowers, and the dirt has rubbed into her cheeks. "I know you don't mean it… I know. It's been over a year…" she continued. "But, he'll be back!" She looks as if she is holding back from crying aloud, but that giant droplet of tear rolling down her cheek has betrayed her, the size of it carries a message just as loud.

With my free hand, I reached out in attempt to wipe that one tear away, but she took a step back and continues to use her gardening hands instead, disrupting her normally clear complexion. The streaks of dirt on her cheek seems to only amplify the glow of her skin.

"Zack will come back", she declared again, looking at me with a piercing look. Her words, and her gaze penetrated me like an arrow and I felt my body slowly get consume by guilt.

This flower girl came so far to get to her current state. She used to cry with her flowers, and I put so much effort into making her believe again. Today, this girl has learnt to hold her fear back like a true soldier, in order to await his return. A year ago, this was all I've asked for.

So when did I turn around and stopped believing in Zack? I'm so sorry Aerith, such a jerk I am.

"Aerith".

"Hm?"

"Sometimes, I question why he is still not back. I know him, he hates being apart from you", looking down I continued, "That's why I thought he might have gone into the Lifestream… But I'm wrong, I should have more faith in my best friend!" Then it came out, a promise, one that I might not be able to keep, "From now on... Every time I'm out on a mission, I'll ... I will search every shadow... Flip every rock... I'll check every corner", Words just spilled out of my mouth without giving much thought, in my mind, I just wanted her to be happy. "I _will_ find Zack".

Aerith surrenders a sad smile, "When you see him, tell him I'm mad at him".

"You have every reason to", i answered honestly and smiles back.

"Drag him back even if he doesn't want to", she grinned, "tell him I'm still waiting for him to fulfil his promises", she added urgently.

I laughed, "Anything else Miss Aerith?"

"Oh and tell him one of the wheels on my flower wagon is squeaking… and I decided, I like his old hairstyle more", she giggled this time, looking extra silly with streaks of dirt on her cheeks.

It became obvious to me that Aerith is the happiest when she is talking about him, and there are many things she want to let him know, if only I could make it happen… _That's it_, "Aerith, write him a letter".

"huh?"

"I'll carry your letter with me at every mission, this way your words will reach Zack when I finally finds him".

Her face lid up even more, and the sight did the same to my heart. "Thank you... Kunsel... Thank you".

Grinning, I lifted the container with the sandwich in it, "now, how about we celebrate our new mission with half a sandwich?"

_Hey Zack, I will try to believe in you... For Aerith. I promised her I'll find you, and I will not give up until I do. Until then, stay safe and alive. If you die, someone will certainly take your perfect girl away...and I'll probably be the first in line. Now stop dragging your ass and come home brother. - MESSAGE SENT_

* * *

**_Xoxo_**

**Author's note**: hello! Sorry for the lack of update! I found a job after struggling with unemployment for a year. Looking back, I'm really happy I took up fanfic last year during my down time. I think writing became my hobby and even though I've gone back to life behind a cubical, I am so proud to live a secret life as a fanfiction writer and reader!

Please review to keep me going! I really want to know what you think of the story :) Your reviews will not only help me to keep going, but also put a smile on my face.

Love


	3. Chapter 3 - Seeing Pink

**Chapter 3 - Seeing Pink**

"Kunsel!" with a huge grin on her beautiful face, she skipped towards me, hiding her hands behind her back.

Lately, she has taken a liking in this new dress. A long button down one with sweet heart neckline. Everything I see behind my Shinra mask cast a blue hue, but with this dress, I feel like I discovered a brand new color.

I pretended I didn't know what she was hiding and gently close the church door behind me, minimizing the hinge's squeal. "I'm starting to really like this dress", I told her.

"Thank you. You don't think it looks weird?" she said twirling a bit to showcase her attire.

The dress fits her almost too well, not too tight or too loose, just enough to hug her settle curves. The neckline is lower than her former camisole, which allows me to sneak a peek at her cleavage. Good thing she can't see which direction my eyes are staring at behind the visor.

"Why would you say that? You look good".

"Thought it might be, _too pink_", she explained.

"Well, do you like pink?"

She nodded and gently tug at the ribbon on her ponytail, "Zack said I look great in pink".

"Nothing wrong with wearing your favorite color", and she nodded to my reply.

Then this flower girl extended her arms and revealed the content in her hand. A rectangular envelope, with his name written in uppercase letters, 'ZACK'. "Another letter?" This is the fourth I've received in under two months. I took it and slide it into my back pocket.

Reaching down my pocket, I was immediately reminded of the three letters already inside. Together the envelopes cast a rectangular shape underneath my pants. Sometimes the letters gets shifted to the back and I'd look like I have one deformed butt cheek. I shook my head at the discomfort and the attention it draws, "I don't know how I can carry them all..."

Aerith let out her ultimate weapon, a soft giggle, "You promised to carry them. I'm sure you will figure it out". Man, I am a sucker for her smile. So I sighed, defeated. I can't ask her to stop writing, I was the one who told her to write, and how can I say no seeing how happy she has become.

"Yeah, I will figure something out Miss Aerith".

"And no reading them!" she warns pointing a finger at me, like a child pretending to play grown up.

"Yeah bossy pants", I grinned and pinched her cheek. I didn't realize what I was doing, all I know was she looks so darn cute and my hand reached out so naturally. It never crossed my mind that it'd be inappropriate until I noticed her blank expression looking straight at me, as if she is feeling confused this very moment. I let go quickly, correcting my behavior. Her hand gradually rise, finding the very spot I pinched. Must have done it too hard, as her pale cheek turned into the same hue as her dress, _pink_. "Does it hurt?" Shortening the distance between us, I tried to take a closer look and she immediately stepped back.

"Yeah", she answered and fiddles with her fingers. "I am going back to the flowers, I have to fill up the wagon", and with that she waved her tiny hand and went back to her bed of lilies.

* * *

We were just lying on the grass outside of Kalm. Thieves there are weak, they victimize women and the old folks and will normally not mess around with Shinra. Monsters there are slightly more intelligent than the rest of the world, they target preys like the less agile chocobos and will generally not engage unless provoked. It was the perfect spot for a break from Soldier duties.

As I took off my headgear, the grass and pollen in the air invaded my nose, causing an itchy sensation up my nostril. The head gear must have acted as a repellent from allergens, weakening my tolerance when removed. You would think that being infused with mako will eliminate such weakness, but that is far from the truth, our body can still react to foreign invasion, just like how we are vulnerable to status para-magic like poison, silence and berserk. I scratch the tip of my nose to relief it and looks over to Zack to see if he is experiencing the same reaction. As I suspect, the nature does not bother him at all. He sat up, looking at the blue sky, the sapphire mako eyes matches the color of the sky. That guy, his mind is floating in the air again.

"Hey Zack".

"Hm?"

"Are you allergic to anything?"

He straightens his back, "allergies are for the weak", he declared and chuckled.

"Ha-ha", I laughed sarcastically. "For real? Not even bee stings? Peanuts? Grass? Pollen?"

"Flowers used to tickle my nose", Zack looks ahead, letting his vision trail into the distance, "maybe because it's so rare nowadays... But I woke up one day surrounded by a bed of flowers, after that, I can't seem to get enough".

I shrugged, "you probably built a tolerance for them".

"I probably did".

"Alright, I will definitely work on my tolerance too!" I declared.

Zack grins, "I know the perfect place to train this tolerance problem".

"Really? Where?"

"Tough luck buddy, that place is a top secret area only I can know of", He explained, and I rolled my eyes.

He looks up at the sky and his body jumped a bit, as if he discovered something, "hey man..."

I straightened up by his startle reaction. "What? Missiles? Wutai troops?!"

With his finger he points to the sky. "That cloud, what does it look like to you?"

"You idiot!" How foolish of me to think he was on the outlook during break time and to top off my annoyance, "what's with the stupid question?" I reluctantly look up to find what caught this Soldier's attention was a simple cloud, a big one and that was pretty much it. "It looks like a damn cloud".

"I mean the shape. What do you think it looks like?"

I gave him the most annoyed expression my face can contour. "It is shaped like a cloud".

"No..." he placed his finger on his chin, like old people or artist does when they are deep in thought. "It's a bow".

"What? Are you high?!" I tilt my head, watching that blur of white fluff in the sky, not understanding a word he is saying. "Where's the arrow?"

The guy points up, "not the weapon! An actual bow, like ribbons", he defended, moving his fingers as if he is pointing out actual parts of a bow.

Thinking he was just being childish_,_ I went back to my original resting position. Relaxing my back on the green sea of grass.

And then he grabs me, and shook me by my arm. "Kunsel! I got it".

"Got what?"

"It's not a bow, it's the shape of a flower!" He declared as if he is right.

That's it, he is officially crazy in my book, "Flowers, ribbons and bows? What are Shinra injecting in you now? Hormones? Estrogen?"

He just grin, not concern with how I perceive him, "Naa... I think I know why I am seeing things".

"Cause you are crazy. That or you need to get your eyes checked".

Zack chuckled, "no I'm not" he protested. "I'm just seeing things differently".

I bounced up and raised three fingers, "how many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three". _Correct._

"What month is your birthday?"

"February", _Correct._

"What color is the sky?"

This time he did not answer right away. Instead, he threw his head back and smiled. Then he gently brought his vision upwards. "Pink", his voice soft as velvet.

"Right..." I answered sarcastically. "And I suppose the grass is purple".

He turned his head, glimmering those sapphire eyes like a young pup, "The grass are pink, the trees are pink, our uniforms are pink!".

I don't think he had any idea how foolish I thought he sounded, "Now you are just being childish". I lay back on the grass and turned away, my patience for his silliness had completely ran out.

"It suits her-… she looks so cute-…. I can't belie-…", Zack continues to blabber on and on, I stopped paying attention beyond that part. I just automatically assumed he was sick or had some bad Kalm local food.

I didn't know what he meant back then, thought he was being stupid, but now I know my original thought was not entirely wrong, he was sick, lovesick. People like me are not capable of seeing the cupid's bow sticking out of his chest. Zack was seeing her everywhere he goes. Aerith has become the center of his universe.

* * *

The flashing neon signs are blinding, the scent of cheap vanilla perfume excreting from those honeybee inn escorts are repulsive, and the hustling noise of Wall Market are deafening. Yet I'm here looking for my night's venture, whatever it maybe. Maybe a sleeping companion, or the opportunity to break off a gang fight, perhaps even the slight chance of encountering someone with juicy intel about Shinra, that's always fun.

Why would anyone give intel to a Soldier? Because I am not, not right now at least. With my chestnut hair styled away from my face, a white collar shirt buttoned just below my chest, paired with navy blue jeans, I easily blend in to the surrounding. Rugged like thugs, cheap like the whores, desperate like low-class vendors. I was never a Wall Market type of guy, I started hanging out here after Zack disappeared. It is good pass time, and the crowd helps me feel less alone. Pathetic I know, conceiving my loneliness with strangers and neon lights, yet, this is my life now.

I look down at my hand, the surface of my skin has gotten rough, and my palm lines has deepened, like some complex puzzle maze. Made me wonder if it has always been this way. Is it the polluted Midgar air? The dozen bottles of beer I have each night? Or the whore I sexed passed some disease to me? Has this type of lifestyle caught up to me?

The thought cycling in my head caused me to wander off. I found myself dragging my feet, like a zombie with no concrete destination. I passed the illuminations, the sex-traffic, the hustling and bustling streets. Into the part of the slum where rubbish collects, still my senses thanked me as if I saved their lives.

I see a playground up ahead, it has a huge white slide, shaped like an animal. An albino dog? Maybe a polar bear. Since it is past seven, no children are using the playground. Never a good idea for kids to roam Midgar in the evening, they can get exposed to some fucked up shit. Drugs, hookers, murderers, kidnappers, name a crime – Midgar has it.

The silent atmosphere has convinced me to stay. I found an empty bench and welcomed myself there. Finally, some silence, some rest. Then I heard it, creaking sound of steel on steel friction. Made me groan, "damn it...", just when I found a safe haven from the crowded market. My vision traced the irritating sound and sleepy eyes awoken. I saw_... Pink._

She is pushing her wooden flower wagon from a distance. Not having to view the world behind a visor, I can finally see how vibrant her dress looks, bringing radiance to my gray world. Slowly, the image of her grew more real, and if I had not smelt the flowers, I wouldn't have known how close she has gotten. I was too fixated on her flowing honey-toned hair, glowing skin, that _pink dress_ and her legs peaking along the opening. She is evening more stunning then what I am used to seeing behind my identity shield. She is that pop of color in this dull city, and her flowers purifies the smell of rusting steel and dying bodies buried deep within the slum's core. The corners of my lips curved, as my mind thanked her presence silently.

Inside that wagon, pale colored flowers travel safely under her care. One of the wheels definitely creaks alright, it sounds like it is screaming for help; 'fix me', 'fix me' it cries. It definitely needs some oil work, or it will fall out eventually.

"Excuse me sir, would you like to buy a flower?" that angelic flower girl before me spoke sweetly.

My mind stopped for a moment, as if someone pressed the pause button. That instant, I questioned why she would call me 'sir', then it hit me like a punch in the face. She never met the real Kunsel. She doesn't know what Kunsel looks like beneath the mask...

"Sir?"

I shook my head, and my hand disobeyed my every comment, it scrambled to fix the mess known as my hair, adjusted the collar on my shirt, and even touch my face to ensure no dirt or loose strands of hair is on it. I must've look like a desperate idiot. "Hi". I answered stupidly and gets up from the bench.

Aerith took a step back and gently lifted a flower from her wagon, one of her cream colored lilies, "would you like to buy a flower? It is only 10 gil".

I decided to play along, Aerith and her mom relies on selling these flowers for a living after all. I reached for my wallet and took out the only coin I had, paying no attention to the value embedded. "Here".

Aerith stares at the silver gil in between my fingers and shook her head, "I don't have change for 5000 gil".

"This is all I have on me, its okay. Keep the change".

She looks around, looking a little anxious. "No, I can't keep the change. It is not right", she checks our surrounding and lets out a relief sigh when she find no one else nearby, "hurry and put it back. There will be trouble if a thief shows up". A true angel fell on earth, yet fully aware what a shit hole Midgar is. Then she place her flower back into the wagon, "please do buy a flower next time when you have the change".

Then her wheel started turning, this time the wheel called a different screech to my ear. 'You idiot, don't let her walk off!' … It may have been my head screaming, but I swear I heard it. Without thinking I grabbed the corner of her wagon, stopping her. She did not look pleased by my action. "I'll buy them. All of them".

The flower girl frowns, "let go", she demanded.

"Huh?"

"Be careful with my wagon, it was built by someone special" Aerith stated, and stomp her foot.

Her large emeralds pierced at me in a way I never knew was possible, causing me to remove my hand from the wooden structure, and steps back as if she had a gun aimed at my head. "Sorry". Of course, this wagon is all Zack has left her, with that thought, I look down shamefully. This is the first time I got a good look at Zack's handy work, and I must say he did a decent job. No loose nails, solid quality wood, even has a retractable blue shade. I have no idea why he added the shade, it made the wagon look more like a baby stroller... Maybe he built it this way, knowing what these smiling lilies symbolize to Aerith... Zack, you really are romantic aren't you? "About those flowers...how about I buy them all?"

Surprised at my proposal, her eyes widened, "I don't have enough flowers".

"No it's okay. Just keep the change, you earn it", unintentionally, I waved the silver gil in between my fingers, urging her to take it. From the outside, it must have look like I was threatening her to take my money.

She furrowed her brows displaying another expression I've never seen before. "I do business ethically sir! I earn what I sell". With that she reach for the wagon's handle.

Wheels are turning, and I was choking. Then I heard that screech again, '_how you dare let her walk away with a bad impression of me'_. Deep down, I knew I acted like some rich fuck giving her pity money. I've always told myself not to show the real Kunsel to her, but now that the deed is done, I don't want it to end like this. I don't want Aerith to affiliate the word 'jerk' when she sees this face! I want to see the many expressions of Aerith that she never show Zack's 2nd Class Soldier friend! I can't let her go!

"Wait!" my voice is choking, "I...I want to buy a lot of flowers". My forehead is sweating, "Not just for today... I want a dozen", the heart is pouncing out of my chest. "A dozen every day!"

She turns and narrow her eyes suspiciously, "a dozen every day?"

That's it. I nodded.

"Do you mind if I ask what you do?"

"A So-" No I can't tell her I am a Soldier. "A software programmer..." I am a terrible liar, I can't program to save my life, I use the computer to stay on top of news, work related training, and majority of the time – for porn. Don't judge me.

"What do you need so many flowers for?

Shit, I stumbled on this one, "The eh…girlfriend".

"What is your name?"

"Ku – Kole"

Finally, she smiles, "alright deal", she steps forward and extends her hand, gesturing for a hand shake. "My name is Aerith. I look forward to doing business with you, Kole".

I did the same, and for the very first time I touched the skin on her hand. Those flowers, they took care of Aerith as carefully as she did for them. So soft I didn't want to let go, and surprisingly, neither does she. I wondered why she still hasn't let go.

Then I found out why, she is watching me, her expression tranquil, with a hint of sadness. Those round green eyes fixated onto my artificial blue. I couldn't hide it no more, she knew, maybe even felt it, that Shinra's mako runs through my veins.

_Damn it Zack, I just bumped into Aerith without my visor. I told her I am somebody I am not… what the heck am I doing? Why did I just lied to her? Why can't I tell her I am Kunsel? To top off the worse part, she quickly found out my connection with Shinra from looking at my fucking eyes. I wanna to punch myself in the face... I am a mess right now... and I don't even know why am I telling you all this... Come back man, come back before I do something stupid I might regret. - _MESSAGE SENT

* * *

**xoxo**

**Author's notes:**

So what do you think? Sorry for the cursing, I just think the lifestyle he lives will make him prone to swearing, violence and womanizing.

I really like the part where Kunsel continues to sent text messages to Zack. He did that in CC so I thought I would continue it. Will Zack reply one day?! da-da-daaaa!

Please let me know your thoughts and thank you for reading!


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